Tuesday, November 01, 2011

in search of a new language

november is a month for practicing. 'exercise', it's called on my Nikki McClure calendar. and here is what i have come up with for this year.

for the next 30 days, i want to practice clearing my communication with others. there is nothing like a divorce to make a person realize the importance of limpid communication. the rules are simple:

- be impeccable with your word
- hide nothing
- take nothing personally

the first means telling no falsehoods. which automatically implies no bad-mouthing. of other people, of myself, of the weather, of the authorities, etc. it also means that 'i hate you' would automatically come out as 'i am having trouble feeling how much i love you right now'.

the second means trying to communicate as much as possible of what goes on in my inner world. instead of being silent about the painful shameful bits, bringing them into contact every time i can master the courage.

the third means reminding myself time and again that whatever other people say, they are always saying something about themselves, never about me. even if sometimes it sounds as if it really really is about me (funnily, i tend to interpret everything people say as if it was about me, even if it doesn't sound that way at all. witness the following ubiquitous exchange: "I feel so down" "What did I do wrong?").

deceptively simple. 30 days. long enough for a small miracle to unfold.

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