lent

my therapist sent me an idea for a 40-day sobriety spin for lent. between february 6 (today) and march 16 (far, far away), one is meant to:

1. Do something good for someone every day (financially or otherwise)
2. Meditate, chant or do mantra for at least 30 min. every day
3. Listen to (part of) the Mathheus Passion (Bach) or some other inspiring piece of music every day
4. Refrain from killing any living creature (including flies and mosquitoes) and therefore eat vegeterian
5. Refrain from speaking ill of others, lying and swearing
6. Refrain from consuming candy, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs
7. Refrain from stealing, in the widest sense of the word
8. No TV
9. Limited internet (only if necessary for work-related and other unavoidable reasons)
10. No purchases (except the strictly necessary)

i read it and thought: YES, i'm on!

... and then quickly became depressed.

the thing is, i'm already doing most of these things most of the time, and the other thing is, it has recently come to my attention that all these great wise principles, i haven't been applying them very greatly wisely.

i have not been gentle. i have not been kind. i have pulled the strings too tight for too long, and the beautiful ideas have turned to ash in my hands and ash in my mouth. in other words, i am oh so virtuous, but i've lost the joy.

and that is a terrible terrible thing.

so here is my adapted list, entitled "Joyful Guilt-Free Lent":

1) do something good for someone every day, in thought, word or deed.
2) meditate. every day.
3) listen to beautiful music every day.
4) limited TV (nourishing, not depleting)
5) limited internet (ditto)
6) limited purchasing (ditto)
7) eat what you want to eat, but eat it consciously. and be thankful for it.
8) dance. every day.
9) sing. every day.
10) be thankful. every day.

Aaaah! that's better. large stone removed from chest.