8 march

For the brilliant, compassionate, beautiful and fragile women in my life, here is a poem by Clarissa Pinkola Estes (from her cd series The Creative Fire), which i have been meaning to write down. And may we all find our voices.

Ways to silence a woman

Say "we're saying the same thing, don't you see?"
Say "don't question, just have faith!"
Say "don't defy my authority! if you want to pass, do it the way i tell you!"
Say "your ideas are seductive!"
Say "your ideas are dangerous!"
Say "it's too disgusting! it's not done! it's too immature! not well thought out!"
Say "you're over-reacting!"
Say "you're being too emotional!"
Say "you're not making any sense!"
Say "i can't understand you when you're upset!"
Say "i can't listen when you're so angry!"
Say "you've missed the point!"
Say "well, really, we're talking about something else!"
Say "that's a wild idea!"
and then talk about something else.
Say "that's not practical!"
Say "that's grandiose!"
Say "no one will do it, believe it, or follow you!"
Say "no one will want it!"
Say "no one wants to listen to that!"
Say "it's a closed system, you can't change it!"
Say "they'll ignore you, they'll forget it, it's already been done! it's not time! it's not the right year! who do you think you are??? No one can predict the future!"
Say "i didn't have it any better than you, so stop whining!"
Say "i put up with it, so you'll have to too!"
Say "i've suffered for a long time and can't stand to hear you!"
Say "you're not ready!"
Say "i'll help you!" but then don't.
Say "i'll invite you!" but then don't.
Say "i'll pave the way!" but then destroy her message.
Say "i'll open the door!" and then shut it in her face.
Say "i'll help you if you write it the way i want you to!"
Say "we'll include you!" then forget to.
Say "we'll talk about it!" but never talk about it.
When you are confronted, make excuses:
Say you are tired, you are busy, you are overwhelmed.

To give her voice, just two words: tell me.