sometimes, antoine ends up on somebody else's lap. at dinner, for instance, when it's my turn to eat. i look across the table at him, and every time, it's a jolt: 'is that what he looks like???'. me, i know the shape of his ear. i know that little bit on the left side of his right cheek. i know the way his eye-brows slant. i know how his eyelashes grow out of their lids. i know the toes. the big one. the little one. i know the shape of each of his nails.but i don't know what he looks like.
and then i remember, it was like that with isabelle too. in fact ... that's what a baby is, at least for this here mama, the essential definition of babyhood: a permanent close-up.
1 comment:
Weet je, deze foto heb ik dus ook. Om te onthouden dat hoe mijn kind er ook voor anderen uit mag zien, dat ik vooral de wang en daaromheen heeeel goed ken, en dan vooral aan mijn borst gesmeed als ware het een geheel. O, en die kleine bezitterige handjes, natuurlijk, die dan op eerdergenoemde borst liggen....
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