Monday, June 28, 2010

on allowing sadness to be



almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, i fall into sadness. quite suddenly, inexplicably, seemingly unreasonably and utterly. these bouts of sadness can last only a few minutes, or they can stretch for a whole day. they feel deep, painful, breathless and complete. i have trouble letting them be. i have trouble believing they will pass. i have trouble remembering that they are not the first of their kind. i have trouble breathing through them. i have trouble understanding what they are (what are they?). i know them inside out, yet have trouble seeing them.

but my husband, who is very much in love with his wife, and takes the trouble to photograph her often, and with adoration, my husband has shown me, inadvertently, just what i needed to see. that my sadness is real, that it is beautiful, that it is ever shifting and changing, that it is gentle and, surprisingly, that it is not even always that sad...

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