most important

(sorry for the unrelated visuals, isabelle had a belated birthday party a few weeks ago. we made perfume. great fun!)

quickly, quickly, before the baby comes out and i forget everything i know (why does giving birth do that to me? well, who knows, maybe not this time...), here are in the disorder the most important things i have learnt from this whole 'let's see what happens if my entire life falls apart' year.

1) no matter how madly the world is turning (spinning and spitting out in its wake some enraged ex-husbands, collapsing finances, distressed children, reluctant friends, complex new relationships filled with more land-mines than your average 20th century battlefield, etc.), there is a quiet place right at the heart of the storm where i can be totally and utterly safe. and despite repeated claims to the contrary, i do know how to get there.

2) there is simply no excuse for not doing my thing. fear is not an excuse. timing is not an excuse. age is not an excuse. work is not an excuse. money is not an excuse. children are not an excuse. a husband is not an excuse. the absence of a husband is not an excuse. neither the presence nor the lack of anything is an excuse. there is simply no excuse.

3) there is a difference between asking for help and asking to be carried. the former is an empowering and real way of taking care of oneself. the latter is slavery in disguise both for the person asking and for the one being asked.

4) i am totally blessed. i live the life i want to live. the choices i make fit me like a glove. my life is filled to the brim with everything that i love (time, love, connection, fresh air, movement, laughter and passion) and it has remarkably little in it that i don't (and i'm working damn hard on learning to love that too ;-). it's actually possible to be in an 'officially' crappy situation, and have a total ball. and if that's possible, then hey, the sky's the limit i say ... (note that i'm also aware of the fact that it's very very possible to be in an 'officially' great situation and be totally miserable, been there, done that, still, though, it's kind of fun to figure out this side of it)

5) having friends is a great great treasure.

there must be more things. if i remember them, i'll make sure to write them down. so you can all remind me, when i forget.